Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Childhood Sweethearts

Childhood sweethearts – that first time we feel the stirrings of romantic feelings – is a magical time in which pangs of heart-felt emotions touches us in a way that we’ll remember the rest of our lives and will shape our future in the romance department. Where boyfriends or girlfriends come and go as we grow up and eventually have families of our own, it’s that childhood sweetheart that we remember most. It’s something about our first real young love that we recall with fond memories because it is the first love that was genuine and bittersweet. Our heart is but a virgin organ until our childhood sweetheart walks into our life and changes our lives forever. It is that first love that we carry with us throughout life, never forgetting those sweet moments of innocence. They leave with us a legacy that time cannot erase.

Everyone remembers their first kiss and the first time they had intimate, physical relations, but do you remember your first childhood sweetheart where there were no pressures on either side? Why is it that this one sweetheart is unforgettable of all the other relationships you’ll ever have?

As we get older and fall in and out of love, it’s that one soul mate, that first soul mate – whether you are seven or seventy-seven – that introduces you to what it feels like to be in love. The reason why it is so memorable and so magical is that this is the time when you love someone outside of the family circle and it stirs emotions that are new to you, yet oh-so-wonderful. While it leaves you with many confused feelings because it is your first, it makes you feel alive like never before.

Just like any other kind of soul mate, our childhood sweetheart will, in time, leave us to embark on their own life journey, but they leave with us an urge to experience that same feeling with someone else again. It is that first experience with love that gets the ball rolling in a quest to recapture that exhilirous feeling of having someone love you and you giving love in return.As a child growing up on the Eastern Shore of Virginia, and then in Burbank, California, I was painfully shy. If a boy were to so much as say hi to me, I’d run. However, I found that boys didn’t want anything to do with girls at this stage so the most contact I had with them was trying to beat them up for different, odd-like things that boys of a young age do.

Also, there was a stigma associated with having a boy like you and that you’d get a bad case of cooties and would have to spend the rest of your life in bed which was something close to called “the kiss of death.”

When I entered into the fourth grade, I still had this mindset that boys were to be avoided, but there was one boy who stood out from the rest. His name was Bruce (his last name escapes me). Bruce and I attended Abraham Lincoln Elementary School in Burbank, California, in the early sixties. The face escapes me, but it wasn’t so much as physical looks, but what he was as a “person” that made me rethink the cootie theory.

Bruce was well liked by everyone. I don’t recall why, but I do remember that he had this unmistakable charisma that made you want to respond to his “hi” if the situation warranted it, even as red-faced as you were.

One day, the class was playing some kind of game where you take your fist and hit the ball against this backboard and the opposing team member did the same. They might have called it handball; I’m not sure.

I was terrible at sports. But, Bruce let me win that round that day.

The feeling that gave me is so hard to put into words. I knew that he could have beaten me hands tied behind his back, but he let me win. It was that very day that confirmed that Bruce and I were soul mates. He was the first boy in my whole short life who wanted to see me do something great and feel good about myself and that stuck with me the rest of my life.

I never found out what happened to Bruce, yet every now and then, I’d get this urge to see if I could find him. Internet searches turned up not much as I didn’t have a last name to go by, yet I’ve always had this urge to want to contact him. Why? I’m not even sure, except maybe to thank him for showing me a side of the opposite sex that was quite surprising, even for a nine-year-old.

Another reason I think he holds a candle to my heart could be that he was a part of my past – a part of my past I will never be able to capture except in my memories. And it is that past that people want to hold on to as it’s part of their history – part of them that shows them who they were at one time and, although our past has a lot to do with who we are today, they can never relive.

We can’t go backwards in time, but it’s those small things about our past that stand out more than the rest. It is our childhood sweethearts that we hold a special place in our heart and which shapes our future relationships in more ways than you’ll ever realize.

Do you have a childhood sweetheart that still holds a candle to your heart? If so, please email me at thewriterslife@yahoo.com or leave a comment here. There is a section in my book on soul mates (and another book in the works) that explains how our childhood sweethearts have an influence on our lives. If you would like to tell me your story, and would like to be interviewed, please let me know. It's an important part of our lifetime of relationships and my books will show you why. Thanks!


Blogger Lisa said...

hi.. i was searching for quotes on childhood sweethearts and found myself reading your article.. i decided to tell you that yes childhood sweethearts leave marks on our soul ones that noone else can touch.. but heres the real mark.. after 24 yrs of our first kiss first touch.. life seems to have come full circle.. we have crossed paths again and have easily decided to spend time together again.. soulmates? perhaps..

Thursday, February 26, 2009  
Blogger firsttruelove said...

I came across your website, thinking of my childhood sweetheart. I never forgot the date of our first kiss. It was so magical. That was almost two decades ago. Sadly, my childhood sweetheart had just passed away. Everyday tears fall, all I can remember is the sweet innocence we both shared and how much he wanted to see me and I wanted it to, but we were so young. We went our seperate ways, but we thought of each other over the years. He came to look for me at times, but I was very busy. Now, I just wished I could have taken the time to say hi and give a hug. Now he's gone and it feels like half of my life is gone as well. I feel like someone stabbed my heart and soul. If it weren't for the people in my life today, I would want to die right besides him. :(

Monday, October 04, 2010  
Blogger Gayle said...

I was also searching for quotes as Lisa was. I lost touch with my childhood sweetheart 15 years ago when we both moved away from the town we grew up in.

He was the boy that I missed when he stayed in, the boy who gently teased me relentlessly, the boy who always walked me home. He carved our initials into a tree, he ran home to fetch an umbrella so I didn't get wet when it rained, he was always there for me.

He made my heart pound ferociously.

I loved him with every breath I took.

Then one day I sat beside him, face to face. He kissed me. My insides flipped. I know his did too. He told me he'd loved me since I was 8 and he was 10 and he saw me playing in his street.

He brought me smiles, he brought out in me someone who could love without prejudice. He was the person who made me whole. We talked about everything, shared our dreams and fears. He held my hand and stroked my face. I couldn't bear to say goodnight to him and watch him walk away.

Then our world burst, I don't know how. I cried puddles every night.

Every now and then he would telephone me out of the blue and remind me how much I still loved him. He would call at my mums house and I didn't care how cold it was I would stand outside just to talk to him. Our paths would cross and we'd pick up like we'd never been apart.

As I said we both moved away. I tried to find him on the internet over the years but to no avail. We had one or two mutual friends who I would occassionally ask about him. I'm in a long term relationship and he is married with 2 children.

Then 5 days ago he sent me a friend request on Facebook, I was his first friend. My life slipped back into place. It's the only way I can describe the feeling. I sent him my mobile number in case FB wasn't his thing. He phoned me the next day.

We talked for over an hour. So easy, like before. So much has passed in our lives yet we still laugh like we are in our teens. We shared memories and he told me his heart broke when we were no longer together, as did mine. I told him I was in love with him forever.

He lives 500 miles away from me, but for the next couple of years is working in the same county I relocated to 7 years ago. Tell me that's not fate?

If Aristophanes was right, I just found my other half again.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010  
Blogger whoknows said...

I don't know if you are still using this blog but I too found it from an internet search much like the others.
My first love was a friend of the family who I met when I was 5 and he was 6, I always got excited and embarrassed when I knew our families were going to meet. As I got older he and his dad would visit us on their annual boys holiday. When I was 13 we were living in the country side when they vivisted yet again, only this time my excitment was uncontainable and I confessed to my mother under a sworn oath not to tell. That summer he took my hand and we walked hand in hand along the country roads, we fished and swan in the creeks and life was wonderful, he wanted to kiss me but I was shy and nervous and at the time thought he might be coming to live with us for and thought it would be too weird and uncomfortable to kiss him and then live like brother and sister. So I never did. Years and decades pasted, he never did come to live with us and our parents remained in touch but but we didn't although I heard bits and pieces about what what was happening in his life. I eventually married had a child and did what we do, but remained unsatisfied. one day in my late 40's I heard that his father died (his mother had died years earlier) and now he had no parents at all. He lived on the otherside of the country, I was compelled to phone him and offer my condolences, after that day we stayed in touch with random phone calls a couple of times a year. I decided to gnetly let him know that he had always been special to me, although not confessing too much for fear of rejection and awkwardness. Over time I let him know more and more of my feelings. He seemed OK with it and it felt good not to have to keep it a secret anymore. Also in the recent years past my mother had seperated from my stepfather and met up with and eventually married her high school sweetheart.
A couple of years later I had to trasvel to the otherside and thought it would be an opportunity to 'catch up' with 'him'.
After a nervous and wonderful couple of days being quite platonic (which was killing me) he confessed that he had the same feelings, and remembered just like I did. Wow!
I went home and considered life, 3 months later I packed up and moved in with him. It's been a year now and there was some adjusting as we didn't really know each other as adults, with emotional wounds etc. But I still feel the same and he loves me!

Saturday, February 25, 2012  
Blogger JCSMILES said...

I also dont know if you are checking this or not but my story is much like the others...after nearly 30 years, my childhood sweetheart and I have reconnected and we are getting back together. Im not sure what kind of chemistry happens in that "instant" but it never fades away! Im so happy!

Wednesday, November 07, 2012  
Blogger ClothAngels said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Sunday, February 23, 2014  
Blogger ClothAngels said...

My story is similar to Gayle and the others as well. After 30 plus years, talking to him still makes me swoon. And to have found out that he searched for after I moved away made those feelings even stronger. I am single now and he is not. A face to face with him is not in my future but would be well worth it if we could.

Best wishes to JCSMILES, only the lucky ones could experience what you are about to. 😊

Sunday, February 23, 2014  
Blogger L Dearing said...

To the boy who stole my heart at church camp, Larry Acosta, I have loved you since the first day I met you...and always will!! You hold the key to my heart!!!
Forever Yours,

Leigh (A.K.A. Frog)

Thursday, June 26, 2014  

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