Dorothy Dishes on ABC's New Reality Dating Show, "Hooking Up"

Okay. I watched it. It was fun and provided me with some good stuff to write about.

I just love reality shows anyway and "Hooking Up," a new reality dating show on Thursday nights on ABC, caught my eye after an article I read about it in the New York Times. While I'm well aware that most of the stunts they put on are faked for ratings, I still watch them and love them. "Hooking Up" was no exception.

I followed the girls - Amy, Kelly and Maryam (pronounced Myriam..thought that was a neat way to spell it) last night as they met these guys they had found on internet dating sites - which I abhor for reasons that probably no one would understand. I kept an open mind, took notes, and followed the girls as they persued "the one."

From my viewpoint, as someone who knows a little something about finding your soul mates, Amy, 28, is cute but she has a few flaws which are going to prevent her from finding what she believes is the answer to her marriage woes. While these online "hooking up" places can provide her with dates, the only way she's going to find her soul mate - or as she put it "the one" - is to cast off this attitude that she HAS to get married. Her main problem is feeling that at 28, she had better get married in two years tops or she'll be an outcast in her own family forever. Very desperate to find "the one," she is blocking her real soul mates from coming into her life by entertaining these soul mate wannabes. Harsh, and this is only my opinion, but true. I really like Amy. She's bubbly and has great potential. If she wasn't so gun ho on finding "the one," she might even stand a chance of finding happiness if she would not force the issue. As of the end of this episode, she feels like this "David" is "the one," so we'll see how it goes.

Maryam. I like Maryam. She's quirky, and has a great personality. Her flaw? Too emotional. She falls apart when someone dumps her. Not good. She has a lot of issues within herself to solve before she is going to find "the one." Now, she goes out on a date with a 40-year-old named Patrick. She comments that he didn't look a thing like his picture. They showed the pictures side by side and I had to agree that the snapshot made him look like Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, he isn't. The problem here is that Maryam, and she's so much like the others, goes by appearances. Big no no. Appearances are what your parents gave you, they're your DNA, but they are not the real "you." The real you is what is on the inside. That next guy she dates (forget his name), she admits to his face that he looks gay. He does have gay attributes, but he says that he wouldn't be there with her if he was gay. So, we'll see. She does like him, though, and they're going on another date which I presume will be next Thursday.

Kelly, 35, is a nice-looking blonde, who she believes has found true love in a guy named Sam. Sam is not bad looking either...they really compliment each other. This might be a good love connection, but we'll see. Sam screwed up, though, by saying he was younger than he really was. When he admitted the truth that he was 40, she said, "Well, if you lie about that, what else will you lie about?" A common occurrence when you look for love online. In his words, "People get this stigma when you are of a certain age. I didn't want them to automatically attach me with this stigma." Sort of those words anyway, but Kelly liked his answer. I didn't like the part where he was photographing her washing his Hummer in a bikini. Sort of made me wonder what's he going to do with these pictures. But, she didn't have a problem with it.

I hope I have all those names right, I have a bad memory, but the bottom line was it left me with the feeling that so much centers on physical attributes. In Sam's words, "Women look at pictures first, just like men." So, what he's saying is that the people who are involved with these online dating sites look for physical attributes first and judge from there. Shame.

Stay tuned for my input on next week’s show.

Dorothy Thompson to Appear on Cuzin Eddie Show Tomorrow!

Hi everyone!Just a note to let you know that if you're going to be in the Illinois area, I will be appearing on the Cuzin Eddie Radio Show with co-host Penny Sansevieri tomorrow morning at 9:30 Central Time. I will be discussing my book, Romancing the Soul, and how you can find the soul mates in your life. Hope to see you there!

Dorothy ThompsonEditor/Co-Author of "Romancing the Soul"
www.dorothythompson.net
Don't forget to check out my new advice column blog at:
www.soulmateadvice.blogspot.com

What is the Number One Question People Want to Know About Soul Mates?

Q: What do most people want to know about soul mates?

A: The number one question most people want to know is who their soul mate is and why they can't seem to find them. Some people have given up hope of finding their soul mates and I find this so disheartening.

It's very easy to figure this out and I'll try to help you understand.

When people approach me with this question, I start out by telling them that no matter how psychic or intelligent the source, the only person who can tell who your soul mate is you. You - and only you - knows who that person is.

Then I tell them that they have many who comes into their lives and if they are in tune to their innerself, they will pick up on the spiritual vibrations from and to this person and that is the only way they can determine who their true soul mates are.

If I had someone come up to me and ask me who their soul mate is, I would ask them three simple questions and come up with three soul mates right off the bat. Sound unbelievable?

Here's a general scenario of how I do this:

Let's say for example someone named Jennifer walks up to me and asks this question. Jennifer is a stay-at-home housewife, married to a man named Bernard. Together they have three children - one who is four, another who is three and the third one who is one.

Jennifer cannot work - nor does she have the energy with three small children and a husband to care for, not to mention the housework and all the other things that comes with being a wife and mother - and even though she loves her family dearly, she can't help the feelings that are overwhelming her for someone she met in early childhood. She and this boy grew up together, attending birthday parties and campouts and, finally, graduated together.

At the time, they were inseparable, but kept the friendship on a platonic level. After graduation, both went their separate ways.

This man whom we shall call Brent met a woman in college and married her. Five years later, they were blessed with two children, who are doing well and thriving.

Both Jennifer and Brent lead happy and fulfilling lives separately, but both keep in contact as they had over the years.

Now that you know the background of this story, let's begin the scenario.

Jennifer's question to me would go like this:

"Dorothy, I love my husband dearly. He treats me well and we basically have a happy marriage, but I feel that there is something missing from my life. Do you think I have a soul mate out there that I haven't met yet?"

I would tell her, "Jennifer, you have to accept the fact that you have many soul mates out there. Your innerself knows who your soul mates are. I will ask you three questions and that will determine whether you have soul mates you aren't aware of and perhaps open up your eyes to ones that are already in your life and you don't realize it. First of all, you say you are married, right?"

"Yes, I have a husband named Bernard to whom I have been married for seven years. I love him more than life itself, but I just don't feel that connection that I've heard a soul mate to be. I could just be tired and overworked and maybe I'm just having the blues right now, but I just feel that there is someone out there waiting for me."

"Jennifer, Bernard is already your companion soul mate. He has come into your life for intimacy and childbearing. Your children were meant to come into your life and Bernard's purpose for entering your life was - among other things - to give you these children."

"Okay, I understand that. But, I still feel like he's not 'the one,' you know?"

"That's because there is no 'the one.' You have many who serves different needs in your life. Bernard is fulfilling a need, just as other soul mates who come into your life."

"Other soul mates? I don't understand."

"Okay, let's find another one for you. Do you have a family member that you are particularly close to?"

Jennifer thinks for a moment and says, "I am fond of an aunt who took care of me as a child when my mother could not. Then, of course, there is a cousin of mine who I was very close to. She would be there for me when no one else would."

"Perfect. Both your aunt and your cousin are your karmic soul mates."

"Karmic soul mates?"

"Sure. Karmic soul mates are friends, co-workers, or even family members who come into your life to help you grow."

"But I always thought that soul mates were romantic."

"Not all of them. Your companion soul mates, yes; your karmic soul mates, no. Your karmic soul mates only come into your life to help you learn a lesson or for you to teach them a lesson."

"I see."

"Jennifer, let me ask you one more question. I know you love your husband, but is there someone in your life - even from your past - that you have some strange spiritual connection with?"

Jennifer thinks for a minute, then her face lights up. "Brent! Of course, Brent! I've always had a special kind of love for him, but nothing on the romantic level."

"Of course not and you want to know why?"

She nods.

"Brent could possibly be your twin soul."

She looks puzzled. "My twin soul?"

"Sure. Your twin soul is your divine counterpart. No one can separate you from your twin soul. You will have many kinds of soul mates come into your life, but the bond with you and your twin soul are inseparable. Time and space will not even separate the two of you because the power of the twin soul bond goes on indefinitely.

"Remember this. A soul mate is anyone who helps you grow spiritually to achieve balance in your life. It could be your husband, your cousin or even someone far away. The number one thing is for you to have balance in your life. Without your soul mates to help you achieve this balance, you will not find your higher self and your higher self is where you are traveling to in this crazy world we call life."

"But, then, could Brent be 'the one'?

"Again, there is no 'the one' out there. It's a common misconception that people idealize their twin soul with being 'the one,' but your twin soul is just another spiritual being that has come into your life to help you with your mission in your life. He is no more or less important than your companion or karmic soul mates. You need all three for balance in order to have a fulfilling and happy life."

So, that's one scenario. I hope this helps anyone who is reading this realize who their soul mates are.

If you are reading this, and this has made a difference in your life, would you care to comment?

Thank you and may all your soul mate dreams come true!

~*~*~

Dorothy ThompsonAuthor, Syndicated Relationship Columnist, Soul Mate Relationship Coach
www.dorothythompson.net

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Do you have a question you would like answered about the soul mate relationship? Send your question to Soul Mate Relationship Coach Dorothy Thompson at thewriterslife@yahoo.com or fill out the online form at AskDorothy.

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Are All Soul Mates Romantic?

Q: I've read a little about soul mates, and it's my understanding that there does not always have to be a romantic connection. Isn't it correct that our soul mates can play other roles in our lives?

A: Of course not all soul mates have romantic connections, but they do all have spiritual connections. Big difference, although related. That's why they are all grouped under the phrase "soulmates."

The only group of soul mates that rely on romantic levels is the companion soul mates (husbands, wives), and the twin soul can be on the romantic level, but it doesn't have to be.

What you have described is the karmic soulmate - girlfriends (and even boyfriends, co-workers, family members, pets) who have come into your life on spiritual levels. They enter your life for a purpose and that is for you to teach them something they would otherwise not find out in their lives or vice-versa. You need karmic soul mates in your life just as you need your other kinds of soul mates to make you whole.

~*~*~

May all your soul mate dreams come true!

Dorothy ThompsonAuthor, Syndicated Relationship Columnist, Soul Mate Relationship Coach

www.dorothythompson.net

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Do you have a question you would like answered about the soul mate relationship? Send your question to Soul Mate Relationship Coach Dorothy Thompson at thewriterslife@yahoo.com or fill out the online form at AskDorothy.

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More Than One Soul Mate?

Q: If you know that you have found your soul mate, but both of you are already in committed relationships when you meet, is there any hope of a future together, short of both spouses dying?

A: Tough call. This sounds to me like the twin soul experience and why I say that is because that’s the number one failure of twin soul relationships—blocks or obstacles— in this case, spouses or girlfriends/boyfriends.

In order for you to be with your twin soul, there are “blocks” put up. These are tests. If it were “easy” to be with your twin soul, everyone would be with their twin soul, and that is what makes the twin soul relationship special and unique. Only the strongest survive.

If the two parties are strong and can overcome the “blocks,” the twin soul union will happen.

With that said, the spouses of the respective parties are brought into their lives for a reason and that is companionship and, perhaps, childbearing. The spouses are their companion soul mates and are just as important. Some people have a hard time breaking out of their mold to be with their twin souls and that is because they have become comfortable, but that “spark” is just not there. That spark lies with their twin souls, only they have a problem.

Should they give up someone who is meant to come into their lives for their twin soul? That can only be answered by the individual.

It is scary sometimes to leave what they have become accustomed and sometimes it’s wiser for them to stay put. However, if they are strong, they can make it happen. But, you have to remember that your life’s destiny was laid out before you were born and if you can’t be with your twin soul in this lifetime, then it’s just not meant to be. Perhaps in the next lifetime, it shall happen.

~*~*~

May all your soul mate dreams come true!

Dorothy ThompsonAuthor, Syndicated Relationship Columnist, Soul Mate Relationship Coach

www.dorothythompson.net

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Do you have a question you would like answered about the soul mate relationship? Send your question to Soul Mate Relationship Coach Dorothy Thompson at thewriterslife@yahoo.com or fill out the online form at AskDorothy.

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Why Do We Need A Soul Mate?

Q: Why do we even need a soul mate?

A: I really don't care too much for the word need. Being needy is the worst place to be in order to have a happy, fulfilled life, but for the sake of answering your question, let's explore why we feel we "need" a soul mate.

For some of us, having a mate fulfills that void in our life that otherwise a feeling of loneliness would occupy. Some people are not happy going it alone and that's fine. They find their mate (or one of them...if you've been following, you have many and they all serve different purposes in your life) and go on to live happy and fulfilling lives.

Now, what about those that don't have this need? What about those that aren't having bouts of loneliness but are occupying their lives with their own entertainment? Does that mean they are "different"?

Absolutely not.

But what is happening here and they probably aren't aware of it, is that this is the point where EVERYONE must come to in order for their soul mate to appear!

Doesn't make sense, does it?

It's sort of a catch-22 situation. When you want your soul mate to come into your life is when it's the hardest time for this to happen. Put it out of your head and they come out of the woodwork.

And why is this?

If you are vigilantly trying to find your soul mate, you are blocking the "sensors" that your soul mates use to pick up your spiritual vibrations by setting up a shield in which no soul mate can cross. Let those sensors down, relax and focus on things that make you happy and your soul mate will be knocking on your door.

Remember, it's not much "needing" a soul mate as it is "accepting" him/her when they surface.

~*~*~

May all your soul mate dreams come true!

Dorothy ThompsonAuthor, Syndicated Relationship Columnist, Soul Mate Relationship Coach

www.dorothythompson.net

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Do you have a question you would like answered about the soul mate relationship? Send your question to Soul Mate Relationship Coach Dorothy Thompson at thewriterslife@yahoo.com or fill out the online form at AskDorothy.

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